The CW Source

Supernatural: Don't Touch That Dial!

2009-11-06T19:46:43Z

We had WAY too much fun with this episode of Supernatural -- and we have a feeling the writers, actors and all the behind-the-scenes folks did, too. How can you not adore watching the boys play McDreamy, Horatio Caine, cheesy sitcom characters and even Knight Rider (and KITT!)? But it wasn't just hilarity -- we also learned some shocking new information that changed the way we looked at everything. And we'll admit, we're still arguing over whether all those revelations worked for us. What about you?

300 channels of WInchestery goodness
Oh, the TV takeoffs! How we loved them! There were so many moments of bliss to choose from, but here are some of of favorites:

The sitcom opening, complete with cheesy theme song, wacky hijinks form the boys (That bicycle built for two! The scooters!), and the reaction of the "live studio audience." Plus, we got to see Dean play his heartfelt "Son of a bitch!" as a sitcom catchphrase.
The Grey's Anatomy knock-off, "Dr. Sexy M.D.", which even has a ghost. We loved Dean revealing his in-depth knowledge of the show, squeeing over Dr. Sexy, then justifying it as a guilty pleasure. But possibly our favorite bit was Sam preparing to operate on Dean and demanding "a penife, some dental floss, a sewing needle and a fifth of whiskey. Stat!"
The whacked-out Japanese games how had comely advertising wenches wearing little devil horns and white go-go boots.
The commercial, watching Sam's discomfort as he shilled a remedy for genital herpes.
Dean's rant about the cop show: "Calm down? I'm wearing sunglasses at night! You know you does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop shop and you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 of them on television and they're all the freaking same!"
MetalliKITT! With Sam as the car! And him getting deeply uncomfortable when Dean dug around in his trunk! HAH!

There's more -- read on!

]]> The big reveal
Holy crap, the Trickster is actually the archangel Gabriel We did not see that coming! The guys make it sound like Gabriel has been hanging out as the Trickster all along, but we admit to being slightly confused by that -- should an angel, even one who is undercover, really be spending his time creating scantily-clad playmates and wishing up tabloid-inspired punishments? That seems kind of far afield from what we remember from Sunday school. We get that there are smiting, wrath-of-God angels, but anal-probe angels? That seems like a stretch.

All in the Family
Gabriel reveals his interest in the boys -- he wants them to "play their roles" and get this apocalypse thing over with. See, he's tired of watching his brothers tear each other apart: "What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this - this isn't about a war, it's about two brothers who loved each other and betrayed each other." He just wants Lucifer and Michael to kick the crap out of each other and get it out of their systems.

What's more, Sam and Dean have always been destined to play the roles of Lucifer and Michael's meat suits. It was fated from the beginning of time. And that... well, we're not quite buying it. We can't throw a rock without hitting feuding siblings (in fact, in our childhood, we have thrown rocks, and hairbrushes, and whatever else is handy, at our siblings.) Are Sam and Dean seriously the only set of brothers in all of human history who can serve as vessels? To quote the ladies of Dr. Sexy M.D., "Seriously? Seriously?!?"

We're glad that Dean left Gabriel with a few choice words -- "For the record, this isn't about some prizefight between your brothers, or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family." That's right, Gabriel -- suck it up and talk some sense into you siblings!

So what's your take? Did you love the TV bits as much as we did, or did you think they were a distraction? Do you buy Gabriel's reasoning, the the boys are fated to play these roles and it's best just to get it over with? Were you surprised to learn the Trickster's true identity? Were Castiel's brief guest appearances enough to keep you satisfied, or did you want more from him? Did you find the last lines -- "Right about now I wish I was back in a TV show." "Yeah, me too." -- poignant or heavy-handed? Talk about it in the comments!

The Vampire Diaries: Raising the Stakes

2009-11-06T15:40:03Z

Last week on The Vampire Diaries, we were afraid that Damon was growing a conscience. We were tantalized and strangely a little confused. This week, he's letting his evil show. Aww, we're conflicted! Do we give the guy a break?

What do you think is happening with Damon's conscience?(survey software)

We loved Lexi, Stefan's oldest friend who popped in unexpectedly. Was she too good to be true? Perhaps. I mean, really? A BFF who:

- Is completely completely cool, down to Earth, fun, thoughtful, lovely
- Has super powers like getting unlimited free drinks from bartenders
- Surprises us by coming all of the way to our town in the middle of nowhere for our birthday
- Feels no shame - in fact, feels fantastic about going to see Bon Jovi next weekend

Maybe she read our post from last week? So we were disappointed with her fate.

]]> Seriously, we loved Lexi. She had so many great moments. Stabbing a straw into the bag of blood so she could partake Capri Sun-style. Kicking Damon's ass. Giving Elena relationship advice. She was really quite pixie-like! A really strong, fast, and dangerous pixie.

Too bad she wasn't on guard and let herself get stabbed with a vervain concoction and then be staked by Damon.

Which didn't improve Damon's status in Stefan's cool book. In fact, it earned him a rather uncomfortable belly staking.

Damon: You missed.
Stefan: No. You saved my life, now I'm sparing yours.

Um, what? So...Damon's still free to implement his nefariously motivated secret plan? Oh right, we don't really expect Stefan to be able to stake his own brother and kill him for good. Having a conscience really does make things more complicated.

We were extremely pleased that Caroline and Bonnie had more time on screen this week, too.

Poor Caroline, living through a truly abusive relationship. Honey, we've all had significant others who make us feel like it's our fault that they have to treat us badly. You may in fact be shallow, but hey, work with your strengths, not against them! Who knew that she wanted to be "Abyss deep" and was truly saddened with a wicked hit to the self-esteem by the realization that she's a "kiddie pool" instead. See, high school can be just as miserable for the beautiful people as it is the quirky left-of-center people.

And Bonnie is working on her witch talents, which to date seem to be on par with a first year Hogwarts student. The good news is that her feather floating skills surpass Hermione's and require neither a wand nor a difficult-to-pronounce Latin-sounding name. Elena's childlike joy at standing up amid the floating feathers was actually quite sweet. Reminds us of our first real snowfall.

Ordinarily, we think Damon's gifted with the best lines, but it's possible that Caroline trumped him this week when she had a spat with Bonnie. When Bonnie declined to return the necklace, Caroline tried to snatch it off of her neck and had the same Zap! that Damon received.

With chagrin, disbelief, and deep offense, Caroline then says to Bonnie, "Are you wearing polyester!?" Knowing that Caroline is so much more freaked out by the possibility of polyester than knowing her ex is a ~~psychopathic murderer~~ vampire is rich.

Three cheers for Bonnie's witchyness! For Elena's coming around-ness! For Stefan's stakey-ness!

What's your take on the episode? Talk about it in the comments!

America's Next Top Model: Sundai Bloody Sundai

2009-11-05T06:27:15Z

There's all kinds of danger this week on America's Next Top Model and only the strong will survive as the girls continue to get to know the lay of the land in Hawaii.

Laura turns 20 and gets some Spam
It's Laura’s birthday and she gets a birthday breakfast on the lanai. Good thing she's in a pretty place because her meal consists of scrambled eggs and Spam -- which is a very big deal on the Islands...and with rednecks. So it's like fusion...but different.

Cliff diving is fun...not!
The models get dropped off at a remote beach where supermodel Marisa Miller (who is only 5'8") shows up to give the rest of the shorties a lesson in how to be hot but not over the top. They strip down to their bikinis and go for it. Apparently, the key is push out the booty and don’t rub the boobs. We totally get that.

New modeling phrase, courtesy of Marisa Miller: Barbie toe.
Definition: A subtle twist of the pointed toe that visually extends the length of the leg -- like the way Barbie’s toes are all of the time, but they're plastic.

The girls get to put their Barbie toes to work at the photo shoot challenge. They get to jump from what appears to be about a 30-foot cliff into the raging sea below looking sexy and not at all scared. The idea is to try not to die and take a good photo at the same time. And they get one shot. The winner gets a $5,000 pearl necklace and twice as many frames at the next photo shoot. She then gets to pick a friend who also gets twice as many frames until they are down to one who gets only the regular amount of frames. Nicole wins the challenge and picks Sundai who picks Laura who picks Jennifer and because she is 18 and a kind of annoying, Erin is left without as many frames as the rest.

]]> Diving deep for the big photo shoot
In what is clearly the toughest photo shoot we've seen in the history of ANTM, the girls are to dive deep into the ocean with SCUBA buddies who will give them their breathing apparatus, or regulators, and when the models are ready to shoot their frames the SCUBA dudes will pull the regulators away and the girls will hold their breath and pose. It was not easy and it looked scary and somewhat life-threatening.

Sundai was not a trooper at all. She came up with every excuse in the book. Well, she does have asthma. Erin didn’t get deep enough and could have taken the photos in a swimming pool, which is very, very bad for her because she only got one shot in the water, unlike the others who got critiqued after their first round and then got to get back in the water and try again with their extra frames.

Don't forget to breathe
All of the girls survive the shoot but one will certainly not survive the panel. Sundai tells the panel that that she had fun during the shoot -- which is a complete lie. She rocked her bod even though she hid her face in her best shot. Laura took a beautiful photo but admitted that she was scared during the shoot. Jennifer's photo was incredible but she admitted that she rarely bothers to breathe when she is getting critiqued at panel. So Tyra leads everyone in some deep breathing exercises. Nicole's photo looked kind of weird to us but the judges loved it even though she forgot her Barbie toes. Erin looked lovely but she was so close to the surface that the light blew out her face.

When it comes down to the judges, they give Jennifer the best picture and Sundai and Erin end up underwater at the bottom two. Then somehow, even though Erin has been in the bottom two for the past three weeks, they decide to keep her in the competition. In one of the saddest eliminations we've seen this Cycle, Sundai packs her things and leaves the island. Guess we won't ever get her life story now. Aloha Miss Sundai, we wish you well.

Great quotes -- hilarity ensues
"I don’t know if I can do this. I could fall into the coral, break my head open and die in front of Nigel and Marisa Miller. That’s NOT how I want to go." Jennifer

"How are you supposed to look sexy when you’re fearing for your life?" Sundai

"I'm deeply scared of drowning or suffocating." Laura

Do the judges have island fever?
We were a little surprised to see Erin hang in there again and remain in the competition week after week when she's been doing so poorly. Do you think she deserves to be in the top four now? Do you think another model should have stuck around in Erin's place? Tell us here!

90210: Women's Intuition

2009-11-04T21:49:49Z

Who says that female drama needs to be kept within the walls of high school? The older women of 90210 certainly challenged that idea this episode. Debbie, Sasha, and Jen were all on FI-YAAA last night with the tricks up their sleeves. Of course, the high school drama did not cease to amaze us as well... Hook-ups, near break-ups, and drug addictions?! Looks like these people's problems go beyond your typical high school student's hair and make-up issues...

Alright, so our friend Sasha, Ms. I'm-WAY-Too-Mature-To-Date-Dixon, stoops to an ultimate low level -- lying about being pregnant? Girl, you're not lying to an adult here, Dixon is a little baby himself -- with a mother who is obviously a lot more experienced and smart than you are. But really? You're going to make this poor kid wet his pants by making him a father? You definitely fooled us, Sasha, but Debbie called you out REAL good. That's a real mother's intuition right there

Just when you thought that Sasha had won this week's BIOTCH Award, we regret to inform you that Jen came in to make it a tie. The woman doesn't even like Ryan -- she's already said she's just using him sooth the fears of her real rich guy she's GOld Digging! Now who do you think you are little Ms. Goldie Locks, walking into poor Ramona's job and calling her old? And yes, her name is Ramona but of course you knew that... And to top that all off, she lies to Ryan about Liam wanting to sleep with her? Oh please, don't flatter yourself, Jen. Ryan may be blind to your vindictive character, but Liam experienced it first-hand and is going to get you good, you just wait. That's what we're hoping, at least...

There's more after the jump -- keep reading!

]]> Now speaking of sick relationships, let's take a minute to look at what's going on between Annie and Jasper -- the guy's a drug dealer, honey, so snap out of whatever dream you're in. We do have to give him an Oscar, however, for his wonderful acting skills... You definitely fooled Annie; now she's blind as a bat. But we still have faith -- even Little Red Riding Hood figured out that she was dealing with a snarling wolf eventually.

Navid, on the other hand, is our little sweetheart. Besides trying to look out for Annie, he still expresses his concern for Adrianna, but of course she scares him away with her desperate tears. You ripped the guy's heart out of his chest, ate it, and then spit it out, Ade. You can't expect him to put a smile on his face and take you back. We suggest you pull yourself together before Jasper pulls you into the dark side -– he's doing a great job with Annie so far. And by the way, Silver and Teddy are not hooking up and Navid is not some pimp -– those are just figments of your twisted imagination...That's why we suggest you don't do drugs, because they'll mess you up even more.

Finally, Liam and Ivy make out and release all that sexual tension that was floating around in the air. You know you wanted to, Liam. Just because she can kick your butt at surfing doesn't mean she isn't hot. It was bound to happen anyway, we had predicted it.

Quotes of the Week

"You look much older in person." – Jen to Ramona

"It's interesting that you have already heard the heart beats when that can only happen during week six of the pregnancy...It starts with you're not pregnant and it ends with stay away from my son." – Debbie to Sasha

"It's me and you against the world." - Annie to Jasper (Yeah, keep that attitude up and you'll end up in prison, baby)

Melrose Place: Things Are Heating Up -- Trust Us On This

2009-11-04T06:26:41Z

There are all kinds of trust issues going on in Melrose Place these days. Jonah and Riley are hiding things, David and Ella can't seem to get their act together enough to create a decent alibi for the night of Syd’s death... and that's just the beginning.

One good kiss deserves another
We'll file this one in the "what were you thinking?" file. After Jonah learns about the kiss between Riley and Auggie, he meets Kendra, the development executive, for cocktails. They kiss too, but Jonah tells her that he's engaged. The next day Riley offers to help Jonah work a wedding. And he keeps his secret buried until he decides to blow it out between the wedding and the reception. Nice. I'm sure the bride and groom appreciated that. Riley thinks that she solves the problem by breaking off her friendship with Auggie. When she asks Jonah to not see Kendra he refuses -- this is the only person in Hollywood who "gets his vision."

Sydney picked up David at his mom's grave
We've got to hand it to Syd, she sure knows how and where to pick 'em. She found David mourning his mom in the graveyard and picked him up then and there. We already know that their relationship was a messy one. But it turns out that David blacked out the night of Syd's death and thinks he could have been the one who killed her. In flashbacks we see that David woke up that night in Syd's bed with a bloody knife in his hand. He quickly buried it at a construction site but for some reason decides to go dig it up... and it's gone. A worker found it and turned it in to the police.

]]> Ella is suspicious about Lauren's random hotel activity
Jessie Roberts is one of Ella's biggest and most squeaky clean clients. And he's overdosed. Helicopters are buzzing U of LA Hospital -- luckily, Ella’s bestie/roomie works at U of LA and guarantees her boss that she'll have it buried.

Ella asks Lauren to create new admissions documents that say that Jessie had an allergic reaction to penicillin. But it's as illegal and unethical as prostitution and Lauren wants none of it. Caleb tells Ella to offer "the nurse" $50,000 for her troubles to sweeten the deal -- after all, it's a week of walking around money for Jessie. And now that Ella has found the big wad of cash in a hotel envelope (hmmm…wonder what that could be from?) she fully believes that her roomie is selling her bod for money and knows that she could use the extra cash. But it's no dice for the good doctor who vows that her career comes first. So suddenly Ella takes the high road with regard to her client, tells the truth to the press, gets Jessie into rehab and boost his career to leading man status. Man, that girl can spin.

Rick Fox is the hot owner of Coal
Auggie wants desperately to impress the owner of Coal (the super yummy Rick Fox who, much to our chagrin, spent a total of 15 seconds on screen) and get his dish on the new menu. But then he watches his culinary nemesis, the dreaded Chef Marcello, steal his recipe and make it his own in what Violet calls "cooking plagiarism" -- though we would have preferred if she would have called it "culinary lip-syncing."

After all of the hell that Chef puts Auggie through, the boy keeps his cool until his boss talks about Riley like she's a hot piece of meat. That makes Auggie mad enough to pummel the man in the kitchen in front of the entire staff -- and Coal patrons. Buh-bye job. When Violet comes to comfort him the two end up in bed. Huge mistake? He probably would have been better off having a cocktail at that point.

Great Ella quotes
Week after week we seem to post quotes mainly from Ella, who clearly has the best lines on the show.

"No more putting that crap up your nose, or else you're gonna have a power lunch with River Phoenix." Ella to her client who overdosed

Lauren: "What are you doing?"
Ella: "I was just going to ask you the same, Pretty Woman."

Simpson sisters stick together
After the public learned of Ashlee Simpson’s release from MP, TV Guide is reporting that her sister, Jessica, is coming to her defense in a very public way -- on Twitter. Jessica tweeted her anger the other night. Jess blames the writers for Ash's departure, criticizing the writing and even mentions the own bad scripts that she's had to work with. Yes, we've seen Major Movie Star and Blonde Ambition...okay, we haven'tm but we've heard of them.

Now, even E! Online is saying that it's a choose-your-own-rumor adventure at this point -- option one that Heather Locklear got Ashlee booted and number two that Ashlee is a terrible actress and that no one has the heart to tell her.

Which do you think it is? Does Amanda (AKA Heather Locklear) already wield enough power on the set to get cast members kicked off the show? Is Ashlee lacking the talent it takes to make it on a prime time biggie? Tell us here!

One Tree Hill: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2009-11-03T19:22:48Z

The One Tree Hill gang borrows from The Wizard of Oz this week as the boys go camping, the girls go on a different trip altogether, and Dan goes a little nuts.

If I Only Had A Brain... on Drugs
OK, we'll admit it -- we love whacked-out Haley. After consuming a few too many "special" brownies, Hales is all about the random observations, but still utterly herself. Our favorite High Haley quotes:

"Now when they say they represent the lollipop guild, do you think that's a trade union? And if it is, why did they unionize? Did they need shorter hours or longer sticks or different flavors?"

"Is your career path pretty much just laid out for you when your parents name you Zelda? Zzzzzzzzzzelda. It's kind of like if they call you Bambi or Oprah."

Hee!

If I Only Had a Heart....oh, wait
Because, yes, Dan does have a heart -- one that was apparently harvested from a South American kid after Rachel paid his family to take him off life support, and then implanted in his chest at a cut-rate transplant clinic. (Dan really can survive anything...) Now Dan is having visions of his heart donor, and he wants to tell his audience that he's not really living on borrowed time. Rachel, in the role of the Wicked Witch, tells him that would kill the show. The audience will forgive a murderer, but they won't take kindly to being conned.

Do you think Dan should confess about his heart transplant?(survey)

If I Only Had the Nerve...or not
Jamie's none too excited about a zipline on the hiking trail, but he doesn't want to tell his dad, because Nathan's not afraid of anything. But Julian engineers a situation that lets Jamie prove his mettle -- convincing Nathan that he needs to let Jamie be the brave one for once. Nicely done!

]]> The Wizard of Tree Hill
To heck with Oz -- just come to Tree Hill and consult with Julian if you've got a question. He counsels Mouth to go on the internet (obviously he's been listening to our podcasts), susses out that Jamie is afraid of the zip line and gives him a graceful out, and even lets Nathan know what's really going on in his son's head. Now if only he could get Brooke to understand that he really does love her...

Glinda the Good Witch of Dead Wives
Clay ditches camping so he can hang out with his dead wife. Um... ok. Fortunately, Sarah manages to get through to Clay that he doesn't have to be alone in time to get him to open up to Quinn. We're guessing this means their relationship can get moving now -- but we'll see...

There's No Place Like Home
After coming to terms with his stolen heart, Dan decides he and Rachel should take a trip. To where -- the Bahamas? Paris? No. Tree Hill. Dan is coming home -- and we can't wait!

What's your take? Were you terrified of the Oryctolagus cuniculus? Did Haley and Brooke's under-the-influence antics make you laugh? Were you surprised by Dan's heart revelation? Talk about it in the comments!

Gossip Girl: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

2009-11-03T16:42:18Z

Seems like everyone spent the latest episode of Gossip Girl with a knife firmly ensconced in their hands. The weaponry comes in handy when you're trying to stab your best friends in the back. And, boy, the insults were flying. Serena and Blair turned the catty comeback into an art form, while Nate jeopardized his reputation and a majority of his personal relationships for the sake of the mighty Vanderbilt clan. Vanessa willingly threw Nate under the bus to keep politics in New York pure (or was it really just to further her filmmaking career?) and Olivia embarrassed Dan on national television. When Chuck is the group's only sensible member, you know something is awry. Here are some of the night's most interesting moments:

Words we never thought we'd hear come out of Serena's mouth: "Put some clothes on, please." There's a half-naked actor in a hotel room and Serena plays the all work and no play card. Bravo!

Latest case of swine flu: Jenny. Looks like the youngest Humphrey has fallen victim to flu season. Instead of feeding a cold or starving a fever, Rufus and Lily combat Jenny's illness with a Scrabble marathon.

Best cross-promotion: Olivia appearing on Jimmy Fallon's late-night talk show.

Best reason to take up employment with an escort service: College tuition and couture. Blair sure does know how to pick 'em. But, honestly, how was B supposed to know her new BFF moonlights as a prostitute? It could be worse; she could have been a stripper.

Lamest relationship milestone: The one-month anniversary. We know relationships come and go on this show quickly, but surviving each other for merely a month is not something to brag about. Congrats Dan and Olivia.

]]> Best Lady Macbeth moment: Tripp's wife, Maureen, admitting she set up the man in the Hudson River scenario. She'll do anything to ensure her man's victory.

Weirdest foreshadowing: Serena and Tripp sitting in the bar at the end of the episode. Should we assume that Serena and Tripp might hook up later? We think a dangerous liaison with Serena would go against everything Tripp stands for as the only honest Vanderbilt. Plus, he remains unaware of his wife's devious antics, so his motivation to stray seems muddled.

Worst hollow ultimatum: KC's "clean up your mess or clear out your desk" line. Termination can't possibly be the end result of every task she gives Serena. What happened to three strikes and you're out?

Best use of dessert: Cake as a face-mask for Blair. We hear frosting is an excellent exfoliant. Serena might have behaved childishly by shoving Blair face-first into that beautifully decorated sheet cake, but Blair called her a prostitute. That's low, even for Blair.

Best laugh-out-loud moment: Blair trying to convince Serena that her life is better and more fulfilling. So, Blair has college and a real relationship and that makes her better than poor Serena who just has a job. So Blair, how is college working out for you? And that relationship has been a bit rocky over the past few weeks, dontcha think?

When will S and B realize that their friendship runs deeper than a few misguided attempts to stick it to the other? Surprisingly, Chuck's words rang true. He knows Blair almost better than anyone – that is, except Serena. You would think she'd know by now that Blair only acts out when she's not in her happy place. Kiss and make up girls.

What did you think? Will Tripp and Serena's friendship blossom into a fling? What's Dan going to do when Hilary Duff's guest run ends?

One Tree Hill: "I and Love and You"

2009-11-02T19:32:35Z

Listen Now

The truth comes out on One Tree Hill -- to no one's surprise, Renee is exposed as a lying skank. Dan milks the moment by strapping her into a lie-detector, which says all of her answers are true. Then he reveals that the lie detector is faked. And at the end, he reveals a big old scar on his chest, suggesting he may not be on borrowed time like we think. Intriguing.... Meanwhile, Naley angsts, Brooke pouts, and Clay and Quinn get a little flashback love, showing us how they got to where they are now.

Listen to our One Tree Hill podcast for "I and Love and You" and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

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Gossip Girl Podcast: "How to Succeed in Bassness"

2009-11-02T19:29:14Z

Listen Now

Just how many chances is Blair going to get on Gossip Girl? Once again, she sticks her nose where it doesn't belong, and she does it in such a way that Chuck revoked his forgiveness and disinvites her from his fabulous '20s-themed club opening. Our two favorite schemers work it out in the end, but Blair, we're putting you on notice. Jenny reveals she's become a heinous bee-yotch when she lets her minions torment Eric and Jonathan, and Eric wisely tells her to take a hike. Serena complains about her work, and Dan gets self-righteous about Olivia's movie-making past. Plus, Rufus as a Ramone! Bliss!

Listen to our Gossip Girl podcast for "How to Succeed in Bassness" and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

Now you can add us as a friend on Facebook!

Supernatural: Getting Old Stinks, but it Beats the Alternative

2009-10-30T18:55:26Z

Supernatural gave us some wacky old-age hijinks, some killer lines, one hell of a hot 900-year-old witch, and a few moments that ripped out hearts right out of our chests.

What we loved

Grumpy Old Men
Poor Dean... he did not deal well the the indignities of aging. He thought his acid reflux was a heart attack, suffered from sciatica while digging up graves, puffed and panted his way up the stairs, and -- worst of all -- realized that hot young women no longer find him dangerously alluring. Oh, the indignity! We loved the way he and Bobby grumbled and snarled at each other.

Patrick
Yowza! The looks, the accent... we approve. Sure, there's the little matter of him sucking the life out of people -- literally -- but sometimes, when he liked a person, he granted them years, too. He's a nice witch! Sometimes. Except when he's not. And giving Sam the clap? That was unnecessary. Sigh.

There's more -- read on!

]]> The Heart
When the boys tell Bobby he can't risk playing again because there's a risk he'll die, Bobby blows up:

So what if I do? What exactly am I living for?> The damn apocalypse? Watching men die bloody while I sit in this chair, can't take a step to help them? It's the facts - I'm old and I'm broke down and I can't... I ain't a Hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward, I'd a stuck a gun in my mouth already.

Oh, Bobby! Nooooooo!

Of course, Dean gets through to him in the end:

You're not useless Bobby. ...You don't stop being a soldier because you got wounded in battle. No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is, you're family. I don't know if you've noticed, but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you, I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out. I don't want to hear that again.

Bobby listens -- and actually gets a tear in his eye. Of course, he soon rallies and is back to his old self:

Now are we done feeling our feelings? Because I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.

Sam's Skills
Say what you want about Sam as baby brother, but he came through when it counted. Although we have to admit, we're confused. Was it just luck that he got four of a kind? Divine intervention? Some sort of demonic kick? Whatever it was, we'll take it.

What we're not so thrilled about

Poker. Again.
Look, we know that poker is hot. But it seems like every single show on the face of the planet has had some kind of poker episode. We're done.

Witchy-poo's Motivation
The resolution -- Patrick's companion deciding she wanted to die -- seemed a little too Witchus ex machina to us. And what did happen in the end -- Patrick reversed Dean's aging because Sam won, he took his girlfriend's years, and... what about everyone else? Did they just stay old, or young, or whatever? That doesn't seem fair...

What's your take on the episode? Do you agree with our likes and dislikes? Talk about it in the comments!

The Vampire Diaries: Stakes Through the Heart, and Who's to Blame?

2009-10-30T17:03:03Z

Is it Stefan that gives love a bad name on The Vampire Diaries? Damon? Naw, these super hot vampires are just doing the best they can with what they've got, and they just have different ways of doing it.

We think that this show gets better every week, though to be fair, the Halloween episode of a vampire show should should be pretty awesome. This one was. Whoever's writing Damon's dialog gets an A+, and can we please say that Ian Somerhalder's comic timing is fantastic? It is hard to chose the best Damon moment of this episode, but the show started off around the 5 min mark with a bit that had us choking on our frosty beverage. Damon, Stefan, and Vicki are hanging out and looking mightily bored in the dusty library/office/room of indeterminate nature. Stefan offers Vicki a cup of mystery substance in a heavy pottery cup that looks like it would have been a hot collectible on eBay 10 years ago.

Vicki: What is it?
Stefan: It's what you're craving.
Damon: Don't lie to the girl. It's so NOT what you're craving, but it'll do in a pinch.
Vicki: What is it?
Damon: Yeah, what is it? Is it skunk? St. Bernard? [stage whisper] Bambi?
Stefan: Go on, give it a try.
Damon: She's new. She needs people blood. She can't sustain on that stuff.
Vicki: Yeah, why can't I have people blood?
Damon: Yeah?
Stefan: Because it's wrong to prey on innocent people, Vicki!
Damon: You don't have to kill the feeds, just find somebody tasty and then erase their memory afterwards. It's so easy.
Stefan: (more protestations, etc.)
Damon: Don't listen to him, he walks on a moral plane way out of our eyeline. I say, snatch, eat, erase.

In moments like these, it's hard to argue that nice guys don't finish last. Particularly if the girl in question is a newly turned vampire/former junkie. Who really thinks that Vicki's gonna go for Stefan's humanitarian approach to the afterlife when Damon is so much more fun and people blood is apparently so much more tasty?

Keep reading -- there's more after the break!

]]> We have to give Damon some credit for trying not to be too bored with his newly made vamp Vicki. He did manage to set her loose and out of Stefan's control, knowing full well that new vamp shenanigans were sure to ensue. We particularly appreciated Damon's clever use of Holocaust imagery to get his way. Everyone knows you can't win if your opponent references that range of tragedies. The line that made Stefan be quiet? Damon: "She's been cooped up in your room all day...She's not Anne Frank!" That was a low blow, and the sort against which our conscience-ridden kind Stefan is powerless.

Ah, a fantastic high school Halloween party where everyone's sporting a really well made and well thought out costume. Jeremy's eager to meet up with his beloved Vicki, Matt's eager not to lose Vicki in the crowd, Elena's eager to keep Jeremy away from Vicki, and Stefan's eager to keep an eye on Vicki and her fangs out of anyone. All amid the darkly lit maze of the confusing high school geography among well costumed and presumably inebriated high school students. On whether or not she wants an Adult Beverage, Caroline's response is, "I'm going to drink until someone is hot enough to make out with." Maybe in Mystic Falls, high school goes past age 21?

Of course this fête isn't chaperoned by any of the town's anti-vampire council! They're too busy...doing....well, something anti-vampire. Happily, one of the council members gets tricked into flirting with Damon! Ohhh, he's crafty, that one. And she's a widge naïve for someone hot on the "stake-the-vamp-in-town" bandwagon. Oh, she's wearing vervain! And now she's spilled all the council secrets to Damon. Council: 0, Vamps: 5.

Don't you just hate it when you're making out with someone and then they draw blood with their new fangs? Jeremy sure does. If only he could have kept himself from bleeding when she nipped his lip, those kids could have had a happy future together. As it is, with the bloodlust upon her, our poor neophyte vamp Vicki turns on Elena, forcing Stefan to stake her. Which he didn't really want to do, honest! Sigh. And we were just getting used to her.

Ohhh, you don't think that Damon will provide the council with Vicki's staked body as evidence that there's nothing to worry about anymore, do you?

We quite like the conscience-less Damon. He's fun! He's feisty! He's everything our parents warned us about! So we have mixed feelings about his volunteering to help Elena by altering Jeremy's memory. Ohhh, don't lead us to believe that the bad vamp has a heart of gold underneath all that tarnish. That's just too difficult to resist.

America's Next Top Model: Mini Surf Divas Hit The Islands

2009-10-29T06:04:53Z

Hazmat takes over at America's Next Top Model, where the living quarters are so nasty Tyra is compelled to condemn the place.

The house is so disgusting, it stands out above all of the other nasty houses left behind by the America’s Top Slobs before them. In the kitchen there are dirty dishes, utensils and pans strewn about, as well as rotting groceries and old coffee cups full of a beverage that was offered hot back at some point in July. There are ants in the bathroom and the closets are so nasty that Tyra tells them that they can’t live there anymore -- they must move to...Hawaii!

(Note: This was never our punishment for not cleaning our rooms. We feel cheated.)

Yes, the models are headed to the tropical islands of Hawaii!

The hateful, very wet, photo shoot challenge
As soon as the girls reach the islands they are subject to a hateful challenge. Buzzy Kerbox, a pioneer surfer and male model, wants to show them how to surf. Little do the little gals know but their short stature should help them be able to balance on their boards. We're gonna say -- not so much.

But this is no time for fun, it's about balance and poise and the models have one chance to snap a tandem photo with another surfer on the board. Hey! You try to look cute, balance and not crash into the coral reef all at one time.

When it came down to analyzing shot for shot, Erin was the top dog. She got the top surf dog of the day which meant that she got a helicopter ride around the island. Please, someone, let Erin win some wardrobe! But we digress -- it was a nice win for Erin, who brought along her buddies Brittany (who is totally annoyed by her at this point) and Nicole (who still seems like she is enjoying the bounty of the island's most infamous crop). When Erin expresses her disappointment that the prize wasn't a "tangible item" the girls who were left behind were disgusted.

]]> It’s time for a Hapa photo shoot
Hapa means half in Hawaiian (half of one race and half of another race). And for this week's shoot Tyra wanted a fashion interpretation of the two different cultures. And for the first time in Top Model history Tyra did the photography for a second photo shoot. Laura is Greek and Mexican. Erin is Tibetan and Egyptian. Sundai is Moroccan and Russian. Brittany is Native American and East Indian. Jennifer is Botswanian and Polynesian. And Nicole is Malagasy and Japanese.

The wardrobe the girls were given was brutal, difficult and totally transformed them. They were painted and plastered with different colors. Erin didn’t bring it so much this time around. She was a bit lost. Laura asked Tyra to be brutally honest with her and after that things went okay. Nicole "turned it," according to Tyra and Jay. Jennifer was a mess. Tyra was uninspired but we're thinking that the wardrobe and the makeup didn't help one bit. She looked a little hideous. Brittany was a little stiff and what Tyra called doing catalog modeling. And Sundai looked so perdy with her long weave and Ruski hat -- she nailed her shoot.

Panel wasn’t exactly a luau
As lovely as everyone was at the photo shoot, there were some serious issues and the girls didn't photograph as well as they could. When it came down to the bottom two, it was Brittany and Erin. Brittany tends to give great photos but her shots are becoming formulaic rather than inspiring. Erin takes beautiful photos but is self-sabotaging. She's becoming intimidated and has to figure out how to get out of her own way. After all was said and done, they let our mathematician go. But we have high hopes for Brittany. If Natalie from Cycle 12 can roll herself out of bed to get signed with Ford Models and score lingerie gigs with Jockey, then Brittany should do just fine.

What do you think about the challenge and the photo shoot this week? Do you think that the competition is as hard as it's ever been? Do you think that some of the girls have it easy? Tell us here!

Melrose Place: Violet and Auggie Will Ride Into the Dreaded LA Sunset

2009-10-28T14:51:44Z

It's being reported that there's been a massive shake-up in the cast at Melrose Place already and it's not even November sweeps yet!

According to The Insider Violet and Auggie will exit the storyline come January as several new characters, including one Amanda (AKA Heather Locklear) will be introduced...or, re-introduced, as the case may be.

The MP Powers That Be are claiming that the "Who Killed Sydney?" storyline will wrap in December and then the show will take on a lighter, more fun vibe. Producers say that Simpson-Wentz always knew that being written off the show was a possibility. Still...we love the crazy. We'll miss that for sure.

And speaking of missing...can we please have a moment of silence? We're absolutely shocked that the MP scribes can even consider writing off the hottest guy on the show! But apparently, Auggie is simply too dark.

Violet and Auggie are being written off the show because…(online surveys)

Why do you think about Ashlee and Colin leaving the show? Do you think it's a mistake? Will you miss them? Tell us here!

One Tree Hill: Moving On -- Or Not

2009-10-27T22:26:58Z

We finally learn the truth about Nathan and Renee this week -- and about Dan's intentions, Julian's feelings and Clay's level of crazy. So much information!

Biggest Props
To James Lafferty for directing this episode. Go, James!

Biggest Shock
Dan whipping out the lie detector test -- and Renee passing it! Of course, it was all a fake-out -- Dan strapped himself in to machines and told a bunch of LIES! (possibly even including "I love my wife.") All of this was in service of getting Renee to admit the truth -- that she'd never had sexual relations with that man, and that she made it all up. Finally, Naley's nightmare is over. (We still think this could have been avoided with an in-vitro paternity test.)

Biggest Non-Shock
We called it! Sara, Clay's comely companion, was a delusion. She's his dead wife, haunting his memories even as she urges him to move on. As far as we can tell, Clay wasn't at all responsible for her death -- if we had to guess, we'd say she suffered an aneurysm -- but he still is living in its shadow. He even sent Quinn away when she came over to "talk."

There's more -- read on!

]]> Biggest Annoyance
Seriously, do these people even live in the same town anymore? It's a huge, emotional time for Haley and Nathan, and all of their friends are far, far away. Sure, Quinn said something about "giving them their space," but what's everyone else's excuse? Brooke was brooding, Clay was crazy, Skills was distracting Jamie, and Mia, Chase, Mouth, Millie.... they were absent without explanation.

Biggest Whiner
Brooke, sweetie, we love you, but you have got to snap out of this self-pity jag! Julian had no idea you'd proposed marriage in the sand, so you can't hold him responsible for that. And did anyone else just get frustrated when Julian said "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings..." That's something you have to say to kindergartners, not adults!

Biggest Distraction
Flashback city! OK, fine, we got to see what happened in various relationships, but it seemed much more drawn-out than necessary. Short version: Clay was blissfully happy, and then Sara died. Quinn was blissfully happy, and then David grew up and/or lost his soul Nathan and Clay were drunk, and Renee was sleeping with someone else -- presumably someone who didn't have a $20 million contract on the line.

What's your take on the episode? Were you surprised by the outcome? What new problems are going to come their way now that the Tree Hillers have fended off Renee? Talk about it in the comments!

Gossip Girl: Twist the Knife

2009-10-27T17:38:02Z

In the Gossip Girl world, everything can be achieved with a payoff. Between acquiring fake liquor licenses to Lily bribing trick-or-treaters just to make Rufus happy, it seems nothing gets done without greasing the wheel just a little. Chuck and Blair flirted with a true relationship rupture while Blair and Serena might have severed ties for real. We love Blair, but the I-get-whatever-I-want-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it attitude is finally wearing thin. And no one made us want to throw our Chinese take-out at the television screen more than Jenny. Eric better give her the cold shoulder for a seriously long time. You can rule with an iron fist or you can take on the role of the "People's Princess." Take a guess as to who the general population loved more. Here are some other tidbits from last night's episode that we enjoyed:

Best pumpkins: Rufus knows how to do Halloween right. We loved his KISS-themed pumpkins.

Best costume: Rufus wins again as Johnny (or was it DeeDee?) Ramone.

Best job: Despite the grunt work, Serena's job seems like a dream. Grunt work for normal people equals taking the office's lunch order and then picking it up. Grunt work for Serena equals delivering James Franco his underwear. Yeah, we'll go with the tighty-whities.

Worst look: Jenny. Maybe it was just her stuck-up personality affecting our opinion, but we wanted to let her know that Halloween is only one day of the year. Wipe that blackish crap from your lips!

]]> Best way to make your club popular: Have your soiree invaded by the police. It injects a little danger into the proceedings and apparently everyone wants to stay at a hotel sans liquor license. Go figure!

Best parental advice: Rufus demanding Lily stay home with him for Halloween. Who does want their parents at every social event of the year?

Cutest welcome-to-the-family moment: We melted when Eric asked Jenny why Rufus was inquiring about his size. "Does this mean I'm getting a flannel?" Oh so adorable!

Biggest eww-factor: Dan watching Olivia get it on with her ex-boyfriend. Granted, it was only a cinematic display of affection, but sometimes too much information is just too much information. And he watched it with Nate. Isn't there some guy-code about this kind of thing?

Biggest imitation of a toddler: Blair. She just can't follow directions. We understand she just can't help herself, but when it comes to Chuck, you'd think she'd show a bit more restraint. Although, it he keeps forgiving her, then she'll never learn.

Phoniest fight: Serena and Nate. Oh just kiss and make up, you two. Was any harm really done, since Carter refused Serena's help?

Most desperate: Serena. She's so eager for a job and a man that she'll just waltz into any situation to acquire both. Note to Serena: there are other PR firms in New York and there are plenty of men too.

What did you think? Are Blair and Jenny grating on your nerves? Is Chuck starting to be a pushover when it comes to Blair? How pissed do you think Serena really is at Blair? What will be Eric's revenge on Jenny?